Monday, May 21, 2012


Mostly dialogue in this chapter. But that isn't new, is it? Now get to reading.


           It was one thing to get Ivy to buy something fancy, Anomaly thought to herself. It was quite another to get her to wear it.
            “Ivy,” Anomaly said, “you need to put this dress on.”
            “Not in a million years!” Ivy shouted from somewhere else in the house.
            Anomaly scowled. She had been chasing Ivy for twenty minutes and trying to make her get ready, but it really wasn’t working. It would’ve been a lot easier if Ivy wasn’t quite so fast. She didn’t even exactly know what to do once she finally caught Ivy – there was no way she was going to put Ivy in a dress – but that would have to wait for now. Besides, it wasn’t like Anomaly was going to catch her anytime soon.
            Ivy darted around the corner behind Anomaly. Anomaly whirled around and sprinted after her, hoping that she could finally catch her. Ivy suddenly skidded to a stop. She was cornered. Right before Anomaly could grab her she teleported out of the way, making Anomaly run into the wall.
            “Ow!” she shouted, then muttered few curses. She took a step back, put her hand on her forehead because it had hit the wall and it hurt, and listened carefully. It sounded an awful lot like Ivy was slowly creeping up the stairs...
            Anomaly walked over, up against the wall in a way that if Ivy were on the stairs she would be out of sight. She could tell Ivy was about to peek her head around the corner.
            “Boo!” Anomaly shouted in Ivy’s face, attempting to lunge at her at the same time.
            Ivy shrieked in surprise and run back the way she came. However, when Anomaly had lunged at her, she tumbled down the stairs. In her tumbling, she hit Ivy and knocked her down, too. They both landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.
            “Ha!” Anomaly said as she grabbed Ivy’s ankle.
            “That’s not fair!” Ivy said, trying to free herself from Anomaly’s grip. She was very good at squirming. “You can’t just force me into a dress!”
            “Well, you have to.”
            “Stop acting like a baby!”
            “Make me! Besides, so what if you have a hold of my ankle? It’s not like you are going to put me in a dress. We both know how awkward that would be.”
            “You’re right,” Anomaly nodded. “Which is why I’m going to make you put it on while handcuffed to a door.”
            “Wait, what?”
            Anomaly let go of Ivy’s ankle, but she moved so quickly that she grabbed Ivy’s wrist before she could run off again. She quickly handcuffed Ivy to the closet door, which was right next to the bottom of the stairs.
            “Hey! What the hell? Why’d you do that?!” Ivy shouted as Anomaly started walking away. “Don’t walk away! What’s wrong with you? Don’t handcuff me to this door!”
            “Oh, stop whining,” Anomaly called from the other side of the house. “You’re so annoying.”
            “That’s kind of the point of whining, isn’t it? Now uncuff me; this isn’t fun.”
            “I’ll uncuff you in a few minutes, but first,” she came walking over, “you’re going to put this dress on.”
            Ivy arched an eyebrow skeptically. “With you in the room? Never, Miss Creeper.”
Anomaly rolled her eyes. “Of course not with me in the room. I’m going to walk out, then I’ll uncuff you once you have the dress on.”
            “I’m handcuffed to a door. You expect me to get changed?”
            “It’s a strapless dress. You don’t need to use that arm.”
            “I might.”
            “Stop complaining.” Anomaly tossed the dress to Ivy, and left.
            Ivy caught it and sighed, dismissing all ideas of escape. If she teleported, she’d take the door with her. If she tried to blow up the handcuffs, she’d probably destroy her hand. And she was the one who agreed to doing this in the first place.
            After much difficulty, Ivy managed to put the dress on. It was long and all black, and, as Anomaly pointed out, it was strapless. It was pretty, but it really wasn’t Ivy’s thing to wear. She’d rather be eaten by a monster than wear it.
            “Anomaly!” Ivy shouted. “Aaaaannnnooooommmmmaaaaaalllyyy! Uncuff me now!”
            “Alright, alright. It took you long enough.” Anomaly –who was now wearing a deep blue dress - walked over and undid the handcuff. “And look, now you look lovely.”
            “Shut up.”
            “I hate you so much. But at least now I don’t have to do anything else.”
            “You’re wrong,” Anomaly said. “Audacious said you had to look nice.”
            “I already do.” She gestured at herself. “Did you not notice the dress?”
            “Yeah, but he told you to do your hair and stuff. Remember?”
            “How do you know that?” Ivy asked. “You weren’t there.”
            Anomaly pointed at her head. “Mind reading. Now, are you going to going to be difficult again, or are you going to just going to sit down and be nice?”
            Ivy laughed. “Since when have I ever been nice?”
            “I can’t remember any time. But now could always be a first…”
            Ivy turned to run, but tripped on the dress. She fell face first to the floor.
            “Nice one, Ivy.”
            “I hate you so much…”
            “So you said.”
            “You do realize that I won’t allow you to attempt to do my hair, right?”
            “Of course I do. However, I could always cuff you to the door again…”
            “This time I’d be willing to blast my own hand off.”
            “Well, I have some good news and some bad news, then,” Anomaly said.
            “Let’s hear the good news.”
            “The good news is that I won’t be handcuffing you to a door, so you get to keep your hand.”
            “That’s just dandy,” Ivy said. “And the bad news?”
            “Ah, yes, the bad news. That’s the part where I tie you to a chair.”
            “You’re going to tie me to a chair?”
            “I’m planning to if you refuse to do your hair.”
            “I refuse.”
            Anomaly arched an eyebrow. She put her hand behind her back and pulled out a piece of rope. She nodded to the chair on the other side of the room. “Sit down.”
            Ivy frowned. “Did you really think I would just let you tie me to a chair?”
            “No, I didn’t, so I apologize in advance.”

Ivy blinked and suddenly she was tied to a chair. She immediately started squirming around, trying to free herself. “How did you do that? Untie me! How did you do that?”
            “Agh, stop squirming before I light your head on fire.”
            “I’m trying to straighten your hair.”
            “Oh. How did I get tied to a chair?”
            Anomaly, who had been behind Ivy, walked around so Ivy could see her. She gave Ivy a mischievous grin. “I messed with your thoughts and made you sit down.”
            Ivy looked at her. “You did what?”
            “Don’t worry, I didn’t look through your thoughts. That would’ve been invading your privacy.”
            Ivy sighed in relief. She didn’t know how Anomaly would react if she knew some of the things in Ivy’s head.
            “You know,” Anomaly said after a moment of silence, “you’re being oddly calm for being tied to a chair…”
            Ivy nodded. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
            “I’m waiting for the shouting to begin in three… two…”
            “Untie me now! Now! Now now now now now!”
            “Just stay still for a few more minutes!”
            “No! Untie me!”
            “Hold on!”
            “Untie me!”
            “Ivy, quiet down or else the neighbors might hear!’
            “Neighbors? What neighbors? Actually, I don’t care. Untie me!”
            Ivy shouted even louder. “HELP! I’VE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE BY AN EVIL LADY IN A DRESS! HELP!”
            “IVY SHUT UP!”
            Anomaly tried to move her arm to grab the duct tape she had nearby, but in order to grab it her arm would go in front of Ivy. Ivy bit her hand.
            Anomaly recoiled and looked at her hand. “Ow! What the hell?”
            “Unite me!”
            “You just bit me!”
            “So? Get over it and untie me!”
            “You left bite marks on my hand!”
            “I honestly could care less. Untie me or I’ll bite you again!”
            Anomaly took a step back as Ivy tried to bite her again. “Not till I’ve finished playing with your hair…”
            If Ivy could, she would’ve crossed her arms. By the look on her face, you could tell she was sulking. “The second you untie me, I am going to attack you.”
            “Well then,” said Anomaly, who was now standing behind her again, “I’d better not untie you.”
            There were a few minutes of silence. Anomaly frowned. “Hey, that isn’t very nice.”
            “You heard that?” Ivy asked. “Oh. I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t…”
“Your thoughts are loud.”
            “Is this loud, too?” Ivy started shouting again. “Help! Help me! Anomaly tied me to a chair!”
            “Oh, just shut up!” Anomaly picked up the duct tape threateningly.
            “Go ahead and try it, that won’t stop me,” Ivy said.
            Anomaly started unrolling the tape.
            “Okay, okay, I’ll stop!”
            Anomaly couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m finished doing your hair anyway. So I guess I have to untie you at some point…”
            Anomaly started to untie Ivy from the chair. The instant she was free, she tackled Anomaly.
            “Hey, what was that for?” Anomaly said irritably as she got up.
            Ivy, who had gotten up almost instantly, just shrugged. “Don’t you remember me saying, ‘the second you untie me, I am going to attack you’?”
            “Oh. Yes, I remember now.”
            Ivy glanced in the mirror, then looked away. She suddenly whirled around to face it again. “What is that?” She pointed at her reflection, and looked at Anomaly.
            Anomaly smirked. “Take a guess, genius.”
            Ivy glared at her. “I hate you.”
            “You don’t mean that. Besides, it’s barely noticeable.”
            “Well, that’s still too noticeable.” Ivy could tell that Anomaly had put a little bit of mascara on her. Which meant that Ivy was mad.
            “Get over it, Ivy. It’s already on you.”
            Ivy grumbled something under her breath about killing Anomaly.
            “I heard that,” Anomaly said.
            “You were supposed to,” Ivy replied. She paused for a few moments. “What time is it?”
            Anomaly checked her phone. “It’s 9:45. Audacious should be here soon.”
            “How soon?”
            “Well, he said 10:00, so I’m assuming about 15 minutes.”
            “Well then,” Ivy said, “I’d better grab some stuff.”
            Anomaly frowned. “What kind of stuff?”
            “Just, you know, stuff,” Ivy said with an evil grin as she walked out of the room. Anomaly quickly followed her out of the room, but she was already gone. Anomaly heard Ivy opening and closing drawers in the kitchen. She walked in.
            Ivy was going through the silverware. She picked up a knife and examined it closely. “No, this one’s no good,” she said to herself as she tossed it aside, the fact that she had just tossed a knife across the room and could have hit someone obviously not occurring to her. She pulled out a fork and looked at it. A smile appeared on her face. “Yes, yes, this one is good…”
            “Ivy, stop throwing things,” Anomaly said, knowing it would have no effect whatsoever. “You might hit someone – Ow!” Ivy had just thrown a spoon at her.
            “Shush, shush, I’m busy.” She examined another knife. It looked very sharp. “Yes, this one will certainly work.”
            “What are you doing?” Anomaly asked, ducking underneath the butter knife that just went flying at her. It had almost hit her. “Stop touching all my silverware.”
            “It’s not silverware, Anomaly,” Ivy said in a tone that suggested that Anomaly should know this by now. “It’s a wonderful variety of weapons.”
            Anomaly sighed. “Oh for God’s sake… Just be sure to give it all back afterward. I’m sure I’ll absolutely love eating murder utensils.”
            “Oh. I didn’t think so.” Ivy tossed another spoon through the air, seemingly aimlessly, yet it almost hit Anomaly again. She ducked under it, but when she ducked another was coming at her from a different angle. It hit her in the face.
            “Ow! Ivy, are you trying to hit me?”
            Ivy didn’t look up from the fork she was examining. “Perhaps. But I would say that I’m doing something less than trying. You just have terrible reflexes.”
            “So you are, or you aren’t…? Hey, I don’t have bad reflexes!”
            “You’d better hope you don’t,” Ivy said, then faced her and flung a knife. It hit the wall where Anomaly had been standing only moments before.
            “I hope you realize that you almost just killed me,” Anomaly said. “And that you did kill the wall.” She gestured to the knife.
            “Well, that knife is good,” Ivy muttered to herself. She looked up. “Oh. Right. Yes. I do realize that could have killed you. But I knew you’d move out of the way. And even if you didn’t, that would be fine because then—“ She cut herself off, as if she had just realized what she had just said. Anomaly was looking at her suspiciously.
            “Then what?” she asked.
            “Um, nothing. Never mind. Forget I said anything.” Ivy did her best not to look at her. She was quiet for a moment. “I think Audacious is here.”
            They heard a knock on the door.
            Anomaly glanced at Ivy. “Next time you slip up, I’m not going to let you get away with it so easily… First it was the thing with your arm and now this. You are a very peculiar person, Ivy Animosity.”
            “And you are a very not intimidating one, Anomaly Despair.”
Ivy walked over by Anomaly, who was still standing in the doorway. She pulled the knife out of the wall, and walked past Anomaly and out into the other room. She turned to face her.
             “Now, I’d say it’s about time we go to this horribly dreaded ball, don’t you?”


  1. I thought she would teleport, or break the ropes.
    Very good

  2. If she teleported she would take the chair with her, and she couldn't break the rope because 1) Anomanly would have noticed, 2) Anomaly is amazingly good at tying people up, 3) she was to busy shouting and freaking out to do so.

    1. I thought she wouldn't care if she took the chair or the door away, just so she wouldn't have to put the dress on or get the hair done. And couldn't see break she handcuff? I definatly thought she would teleport with the door, considering Anomanly wasn't in the room

    2. Well, she didn't feel like it. Just go with it; that's the spirit.

  3. Haha this was great. Love the spoon throwing, but you know that...

  4. Of course I do. I'm your secret stalker *Caelan face*

    ("Secret stalker" meaning text messaging, of course.)

  5. Oh, and don't know why the last sentence is a different font and size... probably because Blogger hates me.

  6. *is laughing irl* THAT WAS VERY FUNNY, VAL!

  7. Ivy definitely defines insanity and definitely reminds me of me. I wonder if I have a murderous streak in me somewhere... Anyway keep up the good work Val, it's totally worth reading :)